Sunday, December 16, 2012 – 49 views
— by augustjoki
You know how people say you don't actually know something unless you can reason your way to the answer? My mind seems to work the opposite way. I can come up with the answer in nearly an instant but then I have to mentally work backwards to figure out how that answer popped into my head. Made answering questions kinda weird in high school. "Does anybody know the answer to foo?" I would raise my hand immediately because I knew the answer but when asked to prove it I had to sit there and think for a bit to coalesce my thoughts into concrete words. It felt like taking a step down from the abstract plane where my mind worked efficiently. And my mind is still there. Sometimes I need to distract myself with something else to let my subconscious figure out the answer to the riddle that is currently got my conscious mind all worked up. I am and have always been trying to figure out how things tick. From electronic games to the elements that make up the universe to how my own mind works. For example the impetus for this post has been rattling in the back of my mind for ages now. Slowly working itself into something that can be put into words that can be used to convey ideas instead of just abstract patterns of electrical signals. We've all had that Eureka! moment when things just click, but my mind seems to be not so much stuck but (this is going to sound pretentious) working at a more efficient level than repeating phonemes back to myself. It's this different level of thinking that I think (pun mostly intended) why I am laconic. I'm not thinking with words, so words don't come readily to me when it comes time to vocalize my thoughts. They have to be distilled down to their baser essence in order to make it past my mental filters. Writing (either long form or in everyday texting/posting/tweeting/messaging) gives me that slight delay which allows me to express myself much more readily than face to face communication provides. But at the same time, if there is a topic that has been on my mind for a while I find that I am able to expound on it at great length to somebody who is equally able to perceive what I'm saying without having to dumb down my thoughts too much. And I'm guessing I'm not alone in this. In fact, I bet that most introverts, like me, feel the same way.
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